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Do You Not Know that God Expects even Our Courtships and Engagements to be Holy?

I was just thinking back to when I was in Bible School, and for practicum credit I attended a seminar for couples who were engaged and about to get married.

The couples at this seminar, and there were two, were required to take the seminar as a prerequisite for marriage.

I mostly sat in as an observer, and would chime in when I was called upon, or had something I wanted to inject into the discussion.

My Observant Eye

Now, being the observer that I am, I kept noticing one of the couples in particular who was very affectionate with one another.

The young lady seemed almost needy and starved for affection because she would do things – subtle things – to get her fiance’s attention whenever he wasn’t showing her enough affection.

She would do things like reach for his hand, or lean into him a bit closer to cue him that he was slacking in affection.

Now throughout the seminar this couple kept up a steady stream of rubbing and petting and hugging. They just couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other.

Now the reason this drew my attention is because I guess I just couldn’t believe how two people who professed to be Christians – unmarried Christians – could be so comfortable acting as if they were already married. But this was normal for this couple, I could see.

And through my observation I perceived that they were probably already having sexual intercourse – prior to marriage.

Well the Bible clearly tells us that this is considered fornication. And fornication is a sin. God gave clear instructions in His word to keep us out of sin by placing limitations on some of the things we do here on earth.

This is because sin leads to judgment and destruction, and leads us out of the will of God. When we are outside of God’s will we are outside of His protection, favor, and grace.

Sin is something that God hates. Why? Because look at what it has done to His good earth – it’s corrupted it. And look what sin has done to mankind – it’s polluted their souls.

Sin is a form of disobedience to God. Because we would rather do things to please our flesh rather than do the things that please God.

So observing this couple at the seminar, which was held in a church setting, and being conducted by a biblical counselor kind of shocked me. Because either we aren’t being taught biblical limitations in the church today, or we are just determined, regardless, to do what we want to do.

And this is the nature of a fallen, sinful world. Doing what we want to do instead of obeying God’s commandments.

A Message to the Church

This message is to remind the church what God expects of us. He expects us to be holy because He is a holy God. He expects us to be righteous because righteousness pleases God. And He expects us to be obedient because those who love Him obey Him.

God has placed certain restrictions on those of us who are sanctified and set apart for the master’s good use. There are limitations that we must learn, and adhere to.

There is a place for us in God’s kingdom. But only if we obey Him. We must obey Him. God is calling us out of carnality and into spiritual maturity. He’s calling us to come out of the world, this evil earthly kingdom, and into His holy kingdom, which is not of this world.

I know this message is unpopular in the world today, and in most church circles. We are not taught holiness, and how to serve God in holiness. We are not taught what God expects from us. And because most Christians have not read through the Bible, it’s not clear to them what God expects from them.

We must be holy. There’s no other way to please a holy God. Holiness is the flavor of the day; and it’s God’s way.

Be ye holy, because I the Lord your God am holy.

Amen. (So be it.)


I talk more about how we can keep our courtships holy and pleasing to God in my book “An Open Letter to the Church: On Faith, Holiness, and Being Full of the Holy Ghost,” in Chapter 26: Sex and Dating. You can go here to purchase a digital version of this book.

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